I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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