The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Randomize