I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
one might say we're banned from that church
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Randomize