I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize