It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
