I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
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