big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
