dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
