Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
