The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
