I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
