C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
