i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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