I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
