I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
