I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
