She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
