it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize