I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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