She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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