I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
