I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
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