Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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