I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
