I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Welp...herpes.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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