i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
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