sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
