Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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