Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
...so i touched it.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize