meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize
