I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
