worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
