Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Randomize
