Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
only you would photoshop your dick
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
