What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
