there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Randomize
