I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Randomize
