i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
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