Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
