Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
