my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
