I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I want a musical about memes.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
