ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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