Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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