New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
