If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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