I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
