apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
