The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
His hands were made for my vagina.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
