I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
