I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Found the puke drawer
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Randomize
