what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
