dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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