Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize