remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Randomize
