What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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