I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Randomize
