My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
