hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
