nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
