So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
