She's JV to your varsity
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
