I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
