those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
